My Marine's Bday

Part 1

Mr. Big is turning 34, Amen to that.  This is the time of the year where we finally separate by one year; I love him being older than me :)

I'm not really sure in what to get him for his present, I would buy him the world if I could.  I saw a very nice pair of sneakers, urban sneakers, something trendy, maybe that, or a nice shirt, in a provocative color, salmon maybe.

First thing is that I have to make sure we talk that day, he is expecting it.  My Marine have had a very weird life, in his previous relationship it doesn't seem like the lady was anywhere near to being in love.  He never had a birthday party and most of the time he did not get any presents on his very important day.  WTH? really?  For me bdays are the big deal, its the day you get to be the King (in his case).  He is my king every day of the year but that day, come on, hello!  So its very frustrating for me not being able to throw him a party or giving him...you know, me wrapped in lingerie... 

I went to a store last week and saw some incredible clothe, I wanted to buy him everything.  But I have to be wise with the money so I have to choose on what would be my final selection of items.

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Part 2

Those four paragraphs were written before his bday.  This is what happened:

I told him months ago I was going to buy him a gift that I was not going to ship (to save the shipping money) and that I was going to give it to him when I see him.  Then a while ago I reflected on him never having a bday party (since he was a kid) and that most of the time he did not get a present for his bday.  I changed my mind, I thought I had to send something, I decided for a little detail, not his real gift.  A pre-gift.

The weekend of his bday I was going to be at a bachelorette party, my sister in law's.  We talked a lot about it so he knew, I told him I was going to call him for sure on Saturday (his bday) but not early in the day but when I get home, we both agreed to that, he was fine.  I left for la Rioja on a Friday (Thurday he began to get emotional, sad about it) I told him I may not be able to call him on Friday, but I made an effort.  When I texted him to tell him I could, he said he couldn't because he was in a store buying something with his dad for a job they  had to do in the house...like he couldn't facetime me for a couple to say good bye?  First impact.  I got a bit mad.

I left and I wrote every time I could so he knew what I was doing.  You know how you have this feeling deep inside that you HAVE to write so the person doesn't get mad? I don't like that, I like writing him but not with the feeling that I HAVE to do it.

Long story short: I went to a club on Saturday (his Friday) and came back by 0600 my Sunday (1200 his Sunday) I said: I'm back, I'm going to bed I'm tired, I love you.

When I woke up I found a "Thanks for Remembering it".  WTH? Did I forget? It was 1200 his Sunday, literally beginning the Sunday.  Did I forget his birthday?  I woke up by 1300, his 0800; I decided to ignore it (difficult for me being the person I am, I got super mad about it) and I sent a happy bday text.  He woke up, said thanks, that he loved me and then...after I tried to talk a bit more he said he was not in the mood to talk.  Like was like that all day.  It screwed the rest of my day.  I wasn't sure on what I did.  Yes, I wasn't the first one who said happy bday but I did not forget, I said it super early anyways!  And the fact that I was trying to reach him and I was saying I was sorry and he kept giving me crap made me more mad.

Then he came with the "a bunch of friends are throwing me a party", what bunch of friends? He doesn't have a bunch of friends where he is right now, wth?.  Where did these friends came from now?  Was he doing it to punish me for not texting him at the minute his bday came in effect?

By the end of the day (my day) he was all normal again, he said he was tipsy because he missed me but he didn't say he was sorry.

In summary he got mad at me because while on the club I did not text and then I did not say happy bday to him first thing (technically it wasn't his bday yet).

Can you notice the difference in my mood between part 1 and part 2? How easily things change...

I'm the one that is not in the mood right now.

Warrant Officer: My Marine's Graduation at Quantico Virginia

Since yesterday I've been trying to think what has been the most caring thing someone has done for me.  I'm not talking about romantic moments (even though this could absolutely count as one) but something that showed deep care or interest, and I couldn't find one.  

Yesterday my Marine was graduating for Warrant Officer.  I can't say the schooling months were hard in terms of communications, they were not indeed.  Now that I think back, all the running to my house when he was online and I was out, me staying up until 0200 were not hard; they were not a  sacrifice because seeing and talking to him made me happy so I just didn't think about it.

Yesterday was his graduation and while I was expecting pictures for the next day (we have a 6 hours time difference and the ceremony was by his 1800, my 0000) he had something else in mind: He wanted his mom to facetime me so I could see the whole ceremony.

Really? who does that?  I told him "no! let your mom enjoy the ceremony, don't make her do that"

At 0000 and I had a call, his whole family was there, I got a close up of his mom and sister that said hi and then the family.  I'm talking I haven't met his family in person yet and they already seem to like me.  This is beyond great for me, I had an awful relationship with my ex husband's family; during my whole marriage I felt they didn't really liked me or accepted me, so the relationship felt fake.  This for me is amazing, I'm shy and all but I feel that I could really have a nice relationship with his family. 

I saw when they called his name, his mom began to cry before I did.  I was not planning to, but then I thought about what he had told me before: this was his first time (besides Boot Camp) when someone goes with him for his graduation.  Can you imagine? my Marine began as a private and was married all his military life and no one never ever went with him?  My eyes moistened.  

His mom took me to the front of the stage...yes! An amazing woman.  My bf was in the front row so I could see how handsome he looked. I even took pic from my lap top :)  Then, when they played the Marine's hymn I got more emotional, I wanted to be physically there with him.  By the end of the hymn the ceremony was over and his mom took me to him! I said hi and congratulations then I let him go to his family.

When we hung up I cried a lot, not because of the ceremony or the fact that he was graduating but for the fact that it had happened so many times before and he was always alone.  I thought about all the time he has had good experiences in his life and I was not with him because fate hadn't put us in the same path.  

Now that we are together I'm so ready to begin creating special memories with him. This is by far the most caring thing someone has ever done for me. 

Congratulations Officer Big,

I love you,

Honey

How to Honor Our Military on Memorial Day

Memorial Day is an appropriate day to reflect with your family about the things you have and remember those who sacrificed for it but also, remember those who went beyond and fight for and in another land in the name of peace. 

These are some ideas for you to honor the fallen:

1. Wear a yellow ribbon :)
2. Visit a military cemetery. Put flowers, ribbons, or American flags on the fallen’s graves.
3. Fly an American flag and or the POW/MIA flag in your yard at half mast to honor the memory of fallen.
4. Take a moment of silence during your busy day to observe the military families who have lost a loved one to war.
5. Write thank you letters for currently serving military or veterans for their service to protecting the country and community members.
6. Ask your local newspaper editor to include a list of names on Memorial Day of fallen in your community.
7. Visit a military museum or historic military site.
8. Organize a community-wide observance to honor the military in your community who have served or who are currently serving.
9. Change your Facebook profile picture to an American flag in honor of the military.
10. Tell others why you are thankful for the military by using the hashtag #RememberThem on Twitter or Instagram.
11. Volunteer from babysitting children to cooking a meal for a military family in your community.
12. Hold a donation fundraiser for your community’s veterans’ hospital.
13. Adopt a Hero.
14. Volunteer with the Red Cross or Fisher House. 
15. Educate yourself on the needs of returning military and educate your community on these needs. Make sure that your community is accurately meeting veteran needs. The Community Blueprint has many educational resources.
16. Get involved with the Got Your 6 Campaign.
17. Offer to buy a meal when you see a military member  in line.
18. Join a Memorial Day Parade planning committee. Volunteer your time to help keep the spirit of the holiday alive. 
19. Send much-needed gifts, foods, and supplies to the families of the fallen. Many lives have been lost to keep America safe. Many families have sacrificed their loved ones for the cause. Repay these families by contacting the local reserve base near you and asking how you can help. Contact the Girl Scout Council and other civic organizations that regularly support the families left behind.
20. Get involved with organizations like Honor The Fallen Foundation. 
21. Write a Memorial Day speech. Give the speech at your school, church, civic organization, at a parade, or to friends and family as you gather. Write about what the day of remembrance means to you and the families of the fallen.
22. Support memorials in your area. 
23. Offer a mass at your church in honor to the fallen.
24. Participate at the Soldiers Angel's initiative Fallen But Not Forgotten Facebook Memorial where they will honor the fallen with a Virtual Memorial Wall. Send a photo and short bio of your Hero, and they'll post it to their Facebook page as a reminder to the community that Freedom IS NOT free. The  followers will have the opportunity to leave messages of love and thanks to the photos on their Facebook wall; they may also use the photos to pull together a Memorial Day Photo Slideshow. 
25. Educate, educate and educate. Educate your children on the importance of observing Memorial Day and the dedicated service of military men and women.

"Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy, forget in time, that men have died to win them."

Franklin D. Roosevelt

How are you honoring the fallen for Memorial Day?

References:

Miller, Luci. "16 Ways to Honor Our Military on Memorial Day" Hands on Blog, May 22, 2012. http://handsonblog.org/2012/05/22/16-ways-to-honor-our-military-on-memorial-day/Ehow contributor "How to Honor a Fallen Soldier" Ehow hom. http://www.ehow.com/how_2154936_honor-fallen-soldier-memorial-day.html

Memorial Day

Why do some people say "Happy Memorial Day?" This was something that intrigued me. I'm not American therefore I did not have a clear understanding of what this day meant...but the man I love is a Marine so I have decided I needed to understand what this date means.  

Memorial Day was formerly know as Decoration Day, it has a big importance to the American people since this is the day for remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. It was originated after the American Civil War to commemorate the Union and Confederate soldiers who died in the Civil War. By the 20th century Memorial Day had been extended to honor all Americans who have died in all wars.

So, is that happy? is that a day we/they should celebrate?  Confusion is playing a role here.  Some may think that it is a day for honoring everyone on active duty or all living veterans.  I read in About.com that Memorial day was a "great time to honor our veterans and famous Americans".  This is not veterans day.  This is the day to remember the sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives and friends who put on their uniform and went to war and didn’t return alive. 

The first Decoration Day was 30 May 1868, three years after the end of the American Civil War.  Gen. John A. Logan, U.S. Army, commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, initiated the day of remembrance.  He ordered that all Army posts decorate the graves of fallen Civil War comrades with flowers and a "suitable ceremony," and that flags be flown at half mast until noon. Since the late 1950s on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the U.S. Army has placed small American flags at each of the quarter-million-plus graves in Arlington National Cemetery.  The Army also stands guard in the cemetery through Memorial Day to ensure that the flags remain in place.  

At present, Americans are encouraged to visit military memorials and to fly flags at half mast until noon.  They also are asked to fly the relatively new "POW/MIA" flag, per the 1998 Defense Authorization Act.  Further, all Americans are asked to participate in a "Moment of Remembrance" at 3:00 pm and pledge to aid the families of the honored dead.

     

For those in the military community, they remember their friends and family members. I'm in the military community but there is no one for me to remember.  What would be my responsibility as my Marines girlfriend?  I came to the conclusion that the best way would be for me to live the day and honor the men and women who gave it all for their believes, those that my beloved boyfriend shares; his brothers and sisters in arms, those who gave it all for peace. 

This day was designated as a day of reflection but it has also become associated with sales, a day off and as the first day of summer.  

How wrong is it? To celebrate in a day like this?  A family gathered at a BBQ, sharing a meal, stories, kids playing. I can't think of a better way to honor the fallen, not celebrating the day but what resulted of their sacrifice, freedom and peace.

"A man's country is not a certain area of land, of mountains, rivers, and woods, but it is a principle and patriotism is loyalty to that principle" 

George William Curtis

Military Appreciation Month

I continue to rumble on my clumsy steps to learn more about what my Marine does. I'm so sorry I did not know May was the month for military appreciation.  In fact, May seems to be a very busy month for the military, sort of speaking.

Military members have a difficult job that requires a lot of commitment and discipline.  They sometimes don't have all the basics while on their missions, away from their families; just cut out of the world for several months.   There are definitively people with very stressing jobs but few deal with the stress of ensuring their own safety and others at the same time.

What makes this month remarkable is that it is THAT special time to show our gratitude for the men and women who serve in the armed forces.  It began in 1999 when the Senate first passed a resolution in designating National Military Appreciation Month. That declaration summoned U.S. citizens to observe the month "in a symbol of unity, … to honor the current and former members of the armed forces, including those who have died in the pursuit of freedom and peace."

Traditionally, May has focused on the military in many ways. For example, Public Service Recognition Week, celebrated the first full Monday through Sunday in May since 1985, recognizes the roles of public servants, including the military, at local, state, regional and federal levels. Communities in all the United States showcase military equipment and service members from U.S. installations. The largest PSRW event takes place on Washington's National Mall, where more than 100 federal agencies, including the military services, put their activities, people and equipment on public display.

Armed Forces Day, created in 1949, is an annual event held on the third Saturday in May, with activities at U.S. military bases around the world.

The month finishes with Memorial Day, a federal holiday on the last Monday in May. Each year on Memorial Day, the White House Commission on Remembrance promotes one minute of silence at 3 p.m. local time to honor the military's fallen comrades and to pay tribute to the sacrifices by the nation's service members and veterans.

As an outsider I can tell you that one of the things that make the US Military so great is how the civilians show respect, care and support for the troops.   They are self-conscious of where their troops are and what they do.  I've see a lot of ignorance about military in other countries were the pride is only carried by the service members.  Where I live they are not fans of the Americans so me trying to support the American troops, even though they are allies, was not going to work.  So I thought about doing something for their troops but people just don't care, even though they do have military deployed in Afghanistan and other countries. 

I’m going to show my appreciation! -even if I look like a crazy woman with a flag of the US on European soil- lol.

Here are some ideas on how to show your appreciation:

1. Offer to help the family of a deployed service member in your community. A small gesture such as mowing the grass, cooking a meal, taking care of a pet or babysitting the kids goes a long way.
2. Extend your hand and say thanks. Simply acknowledging their service and thanking them personally means a great deal.  My Marine's face lights up every time. 
3. Make a donation of money or time to a military organization or Family Readiness Group in your area. A financial or in-kind gift helps the mission abroad by supporting the families at home.  

And finally, I will send my Marine an email with a nice picture and a kiss.

THANK YOU!




References:
Harper, Gene. "May is National Military Appreciation Month", About.com. http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/generalinfo/a/milappreciation.htm

Why Americans Don't Have a Passport?

I've been traveling since I was seven years old; for me having a passport was a "must" if I wanted to travel.  For my family, having a valid/current passport was always a priority, "you need to have it if the situation in the country gets dangerous" my dad used to say.  So for me a person without one was a weirdo. 

When my Marine was ending his deployment he was supposed to come visit me and then the question arrived: do you have a passport baby?  He did not. 

Fact:

From the 313 million U.S. resident in 2012 there were over 113 million valid U.S. passports in circulation according to the State Department, that means that about 36 percent of Americans had passports.  Ken Chavez, spokesperson for the Bureau of Consular Affairs at the US Department (I love to quote) says "More Americans have passports now than ever before".  

That could be true (supported by facts) but the thing is that for me, the people around me, they do not have one. 

So: Why Lord? Why oh Why my Marine does not have a passport?

Possible Explanation: 

The United States (My education in Geography prevents me to call it America) is exceptionally big.  You could fit Belgium, France, Netherlands, Denmark and Luxemburg inside Texas and still have room (asked Forbes). So it doesn't seem Americans have to go far to see a different scenario, they could stick around their country and still get to see different things over and over.  They didn’t even need passports when traveling to Canada or México – at least until recently –  Americans used to be able to cross our northern or southern borders “as quickly as they might go to the corner grocery store,” notes Alec Levenson, Research Scientist at the Center of Effective Organizations of the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business. 

Then, to paraphrase the (oft misquoted) line from the Treasure of the Sierra Madre: “Passports? We (they) don’t need no stinkin’ passports!”

Levenson also points to demographics for the rise in passport holders: notably population (248 million Americans in the 1990 census to an estimated 313 million in 2011) and globalization. “We certainly have become no less of an international society than we were 30 years ago,” he says. “People are more likely to be traveling abroad and working abroad. Passport issuance is the ultimate measure of those people.”

If you add to that the fact that my Marine is...a Marine, you can explain how the hell did he get in Germany, Russia, Ireland and so on without one. 

Ok now, your girlfriend ins't American, she lives abroad and you need...yes, you need one.  After deployment, first thing he did was to check on that, everything was "covered" he said.  At the end he could not visit me and the passport surprisingly never arrived.  I continued to ask him about it, I told him: "What if something happens to me and you have to come?" He said: "I can get it in one day for $400 dollars".  So the fact that the passport was "missing" didn't bothered him. UNTIL YESTERDAY.

We were on a video call and his mom said hi.  After we hung up he told me "my mom always asks me a million things after I finish talking to you". I was "like what?", "like when are we going to see each other" he said.  Later that night at dinner his mom and dad were talking of how good of a couple we are and how they can see he is so in love.  Then they said that for his graduation and his birthday they would fight him to me.

"Baby! that can't be done, you don't have a passport!". 

Fingers crossed that they can figure that out, I'm very confident it will come out right and even though he will only be with me for a week (it's an 8 hours flight, shoot me!) it is the most amazing feeling, knowing I could be seeing him in...well, this month!