And it was a storm indeed. It was a high-risk trip, I was
finally going to see him after more than a year. What was really going to
happen? Would he be the same? Was he going to act the same?
You see ladies, me and my bf met in a
very non-conventional way, for some very romantic, for others a way that
would never work.
As the days came nearer I wasn't showing any
emotions at all, for the trip or for talking to him, for that matter. It
was a weird combination of exhaustion and really not believing I was finally
going to see him. When we first began planning the trip we thought that
the fact that I had a lot of things to do the month before the trip was going
to be great (for me) since the time was going to fly by. The thing is
that yes indeed, the time flew but with that came physical and emotional
wear. Besides all the things I had to do I had to make sure I talked to
him every day, sometimes I only had 5 mins to talk to him during the day.
That created pressure on me since I knew he needed me and wanted to talk
to me, so trying to keep up with my daily activities and taking care of him
just wore me out. By the time everything ended, almost by the end of June, I was done...tired, unmotivated. I didn't even want to talk to him.
I would try to explain myself there: it was not that I did not want to
talk to him, I just didn't want to talk to anybody. I wanted to close my
curtains and sleep, deep sleep until I couldn't sleep anymore. Even
though the big event that I had to help taking care of before the trip was
done, I still had to do stuff for myself, and that prevented me from doing the sleeping/resting thing...that and that he did not like when I told him I needed time (not
talking to him). That was a stupid thing from my part, asking him this,
but that was the result of fatigue. He like to talk for hours with me which I like too but I wasn't in the mood, I explained him I did want to talk to him but that 15
mins was a good amount of time, that I did not want to spend hours talking but I also said I wanted a weekend off, off from him. I didn't want to feel the pressure of "having" to call him every day, I wanted to feel like I was in control again. Well ladies, he did not buy that, he gave me a big "ARE YOU
CRAZY?". So we talked about it and even though he did not yield I began to feel good again.
The days before the trip I did all the beauty
things I could while in a super tight budget. Exfoliation of the entire
body and moisturizer for my hair. I wanted to wax too but the days
previous I got my period so that was not going to be possible (also, it is very
expensive to do this where I live so I was considering not to anyways).
So the day came and I had to travel. I
did not feel anxious at all, that was weird. I woke up with enough time
to do all the preparations. I took 3 planes to get to him, and while
landing on my last destination (after almost loosing one connection) I thought I was going to see him after the baggage claim area, so I was walking careless, not expecting to see him any time soon.
If I had thought about it I would of been in a whirlwind of emotions. You see the fact that I had never seen him in person was something to worry about. Yes, we have done thousands of video calls, pics, letters, voice note, you name it. But what If I didn't like him? physically? What if when I see him I did not like him? I loved his personality, that was for sure, after one year interacting as a couple I was sure I knew him well enough but love is more than that, I need to like him physically. What about the sexual part of the relationship? would we be a match? would we have chemistry?
"AAwww"...said the girl waking in front of me. There he was, a 6 foot tall man with a sign waving at me. What the hell was he doing there? Shouldn't I've seen him after baggage claim?
